What the hell?
I went outside to see if he was moving. He wasn't. He didn't respond when I spoke to him. So, I did the logical thing -- I grabbed my phone and I called 911.
And it fucking crashed. So, I tried again, and it crashed again. I was in the process of ripping out the SIM card and charging up my old phone when the Davis 911 dipatcher called back. The good news is that the EMTs were fast. As soon as the dispatcher hung up, I stepped out to the street to wait for them, and I could already see the lights coming up the street.
So, listen here Google, T-Mobile and HTC: FUCK YOU. Fix your shit.